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Bisnow Fantasy Football: Week 1 Recap

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We know you can’t read too much into Week 1 performances (says the team in second-to-last place). Here are the matchup results, with some reflections from each team:

Chi Apt Finders 83, Team Bisnow 66:

Chi Apt Finders: “Well, well, welcome to the league brokers! As everyone here is already familiar with the MLS (multiple losing seasons) please login right now and renew for another year. We're not just the leader in apartment rentals—we also take pride in shattering fantasy hopes and dreams. Oh, by the way, we just talked to our attorney, you're being evicted!”

Team Bisnow: "We're fantasy noobs, but that doesn't mean we're proud of our Week 1 performance. All we can say is spreadsheets, spreadsheets, spreadsheets. Team management is taking a hard look at what went wrong and diagramming and retooling to set us back on course for the rest of the season."

Team Mid-America 122, Bradford Allen 94:

Team Mid-America: “We beat down Bradford Allen with the help of the Falcons. Matty Ice had a big game and you can’t ever count out the kicker as Matt Bryant got us 18 points with two 50+ yard field goals.”

Bradford Allen: “Disappointing first week of ball. Expect more from our leaders Brees and Lacy. Had a good convo with the team yesterday and our back up kicker Dan Bailey guarantees a win for team Bradford Allen this upcoming week.”

Team JLL 101, Zeller Realty Group 85:

Team JLL: ”Team JLL laid the smack down on Zeller Realty in Week 1 with their full service platform of JLL led by Peyton Manning and Le’Veon Bell.  I mean, how could they lose with team oversight from JLL executive chairman, NFL Hall of Famer, two-time Super Bowl Champ, and Heisman trophy winner Roger Staubach?”

Zeller Realty Group: “We found our team's lackluster performance against a mediocre JLL team unacceptable. In an effort to redeem ourselves we have gotten rid of half our players. With the highest projected total, we look forward to a strong Week 2 performance.”

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MACK Companies 105, Team Kiser Group 91:

MACK Companies: “Team MACK would like to extend a huge shout out to Eli Manning (above). Without his lackluster performance in Week 1, Rueben Randle (whom Team Kiser was nice enough to start) might not have put a nice little goose egg on the board. We are looking forward to unleashing Megatron on HSA Commercial this weekend.”

Team Kiser Group: "The Fantasy Gods are a cruel, cruel bunch. With a 41 pt lead heading into Monday night, Team Kiser was feeling good. They knew it would be tough with Matty Stafford and Megatron playing but 41 pts seemed like a nice cushion, right? Wrong! Team Kiser was left huddled in a corner crying at what transpired. Kiser looks to get it rolling this week while Reuben Randle will be sandwiched on the bench (get it?)."

Bear CC 90, Morningside Group 80:

Bear CC: “Auto Draft is not our friend! Not quite sure how it happened, but Team Bear CC is 1-0 heading into Week 2. We’ll have to make some pickups and maybe even offer some trades to try to upgrade our roster if we want to keep the streak going.”

Morningside Group: “It was a tough Week 1 loss for Morningside Group. While Marshawn Lynch and Colin Kaepernick racked up fantasy points as expected, Reggie Bush and the Morningside Group receiving core put up disappointing numbers. With some recent moves on the waiver wire, Morningside Group is looking to shake off the early season rust and bounce back in Week 2 against Kudan Group.”

Team Kudan Group 94, Team HSA Commercial 57:

Team Kudan Group: “While the Colts didn't win, Kudan Group did get Luck-y in Week 1. If you didn't win your Week 1 matchup don't fear, it's a (Kyle) Long season and the Bears, I mean your team, could turn it around. Kudan Group hopes to get lucky again before the end of the season.”

Team HSA Commercial: "There's no doubt that we have a steep hill to climb as fantasy football rookies with a tough draft, and Week 1 sure wasn't pretty. We're holding out hope to bounce back next week just like a lot of real teams in the NFL (including the Bears)."