Bridging The Confidence Gap

Confidence is something that many women professionals struggle with, so it was a topic that certainly piqued the interest of the 225 attendees during this morning's BOMA International Women in Commercial Real Estate Breakfast. A panel of industry experts gathered to discuss how to bridge that confidence gap, mentoring, risk taking and more.

The esteemed panel: Cushman & Wakefield managing director of assets services, Americas Missy Quinn, JHI Properties CEO Nomzamo Radebe, Gemini Rosemont Commercial Real Estate SVP of asset management Tina Renee McCall, Colliers International national director of healthcare services Mary Beth Kuzmanovich and Akridge SVP of property management Kathryn Barnes, who moderated.

Prior to the breakfast, both the panelists and attendees took a survey to gauge where they stood on the confidence spectrum. 

"I struggle with confidence everyday," says Missy. "You get used to it, so I was shocked at how high I scored...and then I was shocked I felt like that. I need to re-examine myself," she says, highlighting a common sentiment among many professional women.

Mary Beth scored higher than average, and says she isn't surprised—her mother, who had seven children, six of them girls—conditioned her to make it happen. "The earlier you start, the easier it is to achieve," she says. "As a mother and a mentor of others, I tell people that if you're at the table, contribute. If you don't have something to say, you're taking up a seat that someone else should have."

Confidence isn't just something you find, Tina Renee notes—it's something developed over time. And you don't necessarily just find confidence in projects that you do well, but also when you fall flat on your face, she contends. "You learn from your mistakes, and it helps you find your confidence as you move forward."

One role that helped Missy gain more confidence was chairing the BOMA/Philadelphia association. There, she was pushed to the front of the stage, she says. "The more you do it and put yourself out there, the more confidence will develop."

Nomzamo says the situation is the same even where she lives in South Africa. Not only is real estate male-dominated, she points out, but there aren't many black people participating. "It's normal for me to be in a boardroom with 10 to 15 males and I'm the only female," she says. "But that helped me gain confidence—you know you're there because you deserve to be there." Every morning, she puts on armor and tells herself to go out there, let her voice be heard and open doors for other females to go into the industry and thrive.

Mary Beth notes it's critical to mentor, not just within your organization, but outside as well. "I've learned as much from my mentees as I gave to them," she says. Missy agrees, adding that networking is just as important as formal mentoring.

Tina Renee suggests when picking a mentor, find someone with whom you can have a mutual relationship, trust inherently, and work with through the good, bad and ugly. Keep that person separate from your sponsor, who should be someone in-house you tell all your good things to and who'll elevate you when you're not in the room.

The confidence gap not only exists between the sexes, but generations as well. Tina Renee says Millennials tend to have more confidence than Generation X or Baby Boomers, as it's how they've grown up. She coaches her two daughters' softball teams to make sure they have a positive role model while they're playing. "One of the 6-year-olds on the team looked at me and said, 'You can't be a coach, you're a girl,'" she recalls. "These young girls still have something instilled in them that a man can do this but a woman cannot."

Nomzamo shared how it was instilled in her when she first went to work. "My mother told me to go to work and keep quiet, saying she knew I had a lot of opinions," she notes. "So I did that for a while, but realized it really wasn't working for me. I must voice my view respectfully."

Missy, a mother of four, says she was driven by her career and felt it made her a better parent, especially after losing her mother at young age and not knowing what advice she would have given. "I tell my kids that they can be anything they want, and it must come from them."

Tina Renee says that women need to be present at their jobs, so when assignments and opportunities are being handed out, they're raising their hands and raising them quickly. "We are each other's own worst enemy. If we can agree to help other women and mentor them, we will get these opportunities and narrow the confidence gap."

These four young ladies, ages 10 through 12, joined BOMA members for the past two days to learn what it takes to be professional women. Hailing from the Boys & Girls Clubs of Greater Washington (BGCGW), Damani, Austocia, Shaniya and Kaevin are part of a program called Fearless Girls, Fearless Women.

Above, they're joined by BGCGW's Lakeda Moye, Texas Medical Association's Lisa Hensley, BGCGW's Denieka Wicker, CBRE's Lacey Willard and Commonwealth Partners' Coleen Spratt, who spearheaded bringing the girls to the conference. 

Lacey tells us BOMA members banded together to support the girls by covering their registration and transportation, as well as bringing them to Macy's yesterday to pick out professional outfits with Dress for Success. After taking the confidence survey, the girls attended the panel discussion and had the opportunity to chat with BOMA members about their careers and life stories.

In an inspiring moment, one of the girls walked up to the microphone during the Q&A period and asked the panelists how she could help build up her friend's confidence. "Someone needs to start a hashtag #ConfidenceOfA10YearOld," Lacey said, cheering.

Among the attendees were Main Street Real Estate Advisors' Susan Engstrom, a BOMA Fellow; Seattle Metropolitan Credit Union's Robin Bleeker; and CBRE's Shannon Dutton.

We also snapped Freddie Mac's Pam Anderson, Brandywine's Debbie Santano and Brookfield's Jackie Duke.

The DC metro contingent was strong with Corporate Office Properties Trust's Kellie Perry, Tower Cos' Debbie Webb, ECS Mid-Atlantic's Kathleen Coxe and Akridge's Mary Lynch, who were joined by moderator Kathy Barnes after the event.